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[heiroglyphs]

VERA WEISZ

You have reached the voice mail box of Vera Weisz, heiress of Weisz Manufacturing. Please leave a message.

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[burndownforwhat]

No one can follow a strong one either, if they end up hospitalized for sleep deprivation and dehydration...

[heiroglyphs]

And what would you have me do, then? Who do I ignore to make my life easier?

[burndownforwhat]

Hell, Vera, I- [ sigh. ] I can't tell you how to run anything and you know it. I just think you should set some boundaries. Like... maybe no work emails after 10 PM or something. Give your mind some time to wind down so you can get some real sleep. Do some yoga, read a book, unwind however you've got to! There's, like, a million ways to tire yourself out without actually exhausting yourself first.

[heiroglyphs]

[Vera takes a step towards the kitchen counter, flipping open her schedule for the day. It is, predictably, packed to the gills, only dotted with small breaks of fifteen minutes or so.]

...Where is this coming from? Why do you have so much concern for me? It's not because of these dreams, is it?

[burndownforwhat]

It's... not the only reason. [ Jen's expression diverted from concerned to confused. ] Look, if it's that weird for me to be worried about you, I can just go.

[heiroglyphs]

That's not what I meant, Jen. It's not upsetting, I just... don't expect such things.

[burndownforwhat]

With the way you act sometimes, are you really surprised? [ wow, that sounded way harsher than she meant it to. but Jen was still being honest. she stopped stretching and moved over to place her hand to Vera's shoulders. ] Maybe if you toned things down a but, and didn't focus on your company at the expense of everything else, you'd see you had more people that cared about you than you think.

[heiroglyphs]

[Vera tries to act surprised, but drops it almost immediately.]

I wish you could understand my life, so you could see why I act the way I do. [Being dropped into a position of immense power as a child, being used and manipulated most of her life, feeling unable to trust anyone for fear of allowing it to happen again.]

I sometimes wish things could have been different. Had my father never died, maybe I could have been care-free person you wish I could become.

[burndownforwhat]

[ growing up effectively fatherless, and having her mom's expectations weighing on her every day of her life may not have been on the same scale as what Vera was going through. but it's not as if she doesn't understand the basics here. the pain may be different but the sentiment is similar enough. ] There's things you can change in life, and things you can't. [ subtle clicking of her fingers goes here. ] Just ... try not to think about the past too much. You should focus on what's ahead of yourself.

[heiroglyphs]

Ahead, what is ahead? More work, my wedding, and not much else right now. It's odd to feel so busy but feel as if nothing will happen.

[burndownforwhat]

[ hold the phone. hold all the fucking phones. ] You're ... getting married? [ there's more shock there than disappointment, but Jen's the easiest to read so it won't do to hide it. ]

[heiroglyphs]

Yes?

[She closes her notebook before moving to sit on the couch.]

I have been engaged for a few months. I believe there was a formal announcement and a few magazine coverings.

[burndownforwhat]

Oh. Sorry... I guess I read the wrong kind of papers for that. [ Jen rubbed at the back of her neck, decided against that and began fiddling with her scrunchie instead. ] Even if I'm late in saying it. Uh. Congratulations. [ her tone was sincere, but bordering more on polite. it was the polite thing to do after missing out on such an important announcement. important for a few reasons. ]

[heiroglyphs]

[Come on, Jen, even someone as tone-deaf as Vera can read your body language right now. She sits up slightly, face awash in some mixture of concern and confusion.]

You are... disappointed.

[burndownforwhat]

[ she is quick to put up her hands in a defensive gesture. ] Huh? No! I'm just surprised. Like. I didn't think you would ever, you know. Take the plunge, I guess? [ that was part of the truth anyway. Jen smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. ] So, who's the lucky lady?

[heiroglyphs]

Dante Rantanen. [She responds flatly.] I have said before, I am not gay.

[burndownforwhat]

...right. [ if there was a way to accent the period of her reply, Jen has found that way. the same way to signal "that's bullshit and you know it" without actually voicing such a horribly impolite thing to say. it's in the way that she picks up her water bottle, takes a drink, and just closes the end cap against the palm of her hand without so much as letting her gaze fall from Vera's face. just in case all that wasn't enough - because it wasn't for Jen, not with how strangely upsetting it was to hear that from Vera, again - she will also put part of that feeling into words. ] What was it, then, with you and - Victoria? [ she almost said "you and I" but that was hardly a relationship and something more. informal. carnal. there's no good term for it. "friends with benefits" seemed inappropriate because they were hardly what she would have called friends (at the time) and also it wasn't a benefit to knowing Jen (or who she was, at the time)... but like hell she was going to let Vera's statement invalidate both of their feelings. Vic's not here to defend herself, and she was nothing but a sweet, honest girl. she didn't deserve that. ]

[heiroglyphs]

Victoria... [Vera feels the chill of surprise down her back at the mention of her name. There was a time in her life that she meant everything to her. She was her moon and stars, her anchor that kept her grounded when the weight of responsibility threatened to sweep her away. But then she ran off, she forgot about her, and left her alone in the storm.]

She was... a very special person, who helped me to realize a lot of things about who I am.

[burndownforwhat]

[ Jen opened her mouth to reply but found only dryness at first. she had to swallow air and some of the bite in her words to reformulate them into something that could get her point across without resorting to screaming or cursing. because she certainly, for the first time in a while, felt like that was an appropriate reaction. ]

She was your girlfriend... [ that's a start. ] You lived together. [ that didn't mean much. look at Lina and her. they weren't together. ] For the love of god, Vera, you installed fitness equipment for her! That says things to someone, don't you get that?

[ okay so maybe that projecting was going a little far. it's true that it may only be to people like Vic and Jen that something like that carries a deeper meaning. a direct link to their aspirations; a big financial burden, yes, but more importantly it showed the level of support she was willing to give Victoria in order to see her succeed. and, more importantly, to watch her be able to practice doing what she loved while still being close to her. ]

[heiroglyphs]

[Jen, was this really the time to push those buttons? Vera doesn't like talking about Victoria in the best of times. Now, fueled by stress and lacking on sleep, the pain and frustration comes bubbling up, and fast.]

And then she left without saying a word! [The heiress snaps back, gritting her teeth as the raw emotion from that morning come rushing back. To have fallen asleep in the arms of your lover, someone you trusted more than you thought you even could, and then to wake up to find that she's gone.]

Ich wurde aufgegeben. I give her my heart and she forgets my face. [She slams her fist on the table.] Frauen sind Monster, zur Hölle mit ihnen.

[burndownforwhat]

[ the outburst surprised her even before the loud noise could, but it did emphasize the point that the translation lacked. Jen understood "frau" and "monster" and the rest... she's better off not knowing specifics. or asking.

she definitely overstepped her bounds on this one and knows it. Jen shrinks back away from Vera, hands up as if the shorter girl would somehow come swinging after her next. ]

Whoa, whoa! Take it easy, Vera, I- I'm sorry.

[ she deflates completely, eyes on the floor. even saying "it was Retrospec's fault" doesn't sound like a valid excuse because she knew, from seeing her other friends lose themselves or leave town without looking back, that it didn't help then and wouldn't help now. ] I'm really sorry. I... I didn't have the right...

[ so much for helping Vera de-stress. this was the precise opposite. undoing all her hard work like that wasn't as bad as dredging up old regrets, sorrow, and anger, but it was the icing on the cake of fuck-ups this has been. she crouched down and started to roll up the exercise mat. ] I'm... I should go.

[heiroglyphs]

[It will never be a valid excuse, not to Vera. If Victoria really loved her, she wouldn't have forgotten her so easily. She wouldn't have run away the moment something went wrong. No, she abandoned her, and she'll never forgive herself for becoming so vulnerable.

She sits down, eyes closed as she clamps a hand down over them, squeezing the bridge of her nose with her palm as she tries to steady her increasingly ragged breath. She's a mess. She knows she is, but what else could she be expected to be, given the circumstances? It was like she was being fucked with on a cosmic level.]

Yes... you should.

[burndownforwhat]

[ in some other time, in another life, she might have stood her ground stubbornly. to stand here and say that if Vera blamed Victoria for running away when it wasn't in her power to do anything about it then it was equally as likely as the heiress being the driving force behind her departure. the way she played hot-cold with her emotions and the feelings of others; to push back against them and not letting them in when they so clearly wanted it.

not that it was anything like the vague nagging in the back of her mind insisted it was for her. that other self - the brief glimpse of it seen in a dream that, of all the aspects of it, felt so very real to her - would have scoffed at the comparison. she was hard and thought because she fought her whole life just to be Her that if others wanted to be close they had to fight twice as hard.

that didn't seem to work out for anyone at all.

the thoughts are fleeting and leave as quickly as the straps close around the foam. next Jen goes to grab her bag. she pauses beside Vera for an instant, hand stalled before she dared to touch her. there's no way she deserved to do so, not now. maybe not ever. was this truly something unforgivable to have said and done to her friend? it sure felt like it tonight.

instead, Jen made her way to the door in silence. ]

[heiroglyphs]

[And Jen's silence will be met with the same, save for the quiet sound of a young woman doing everything she can to keep from breaking down, from showing her cracks. Her eyes are red and no matter how hard she presses on them she can't get this stinging feeling from going away. Air catches in her throat, her breathing is so fast and heavy, and it just won't stop. She tries holding her breath, but that only makes her sputter and choke, forcing her to bury her face in her hands in some vain attempt at hiding her shame.

Why can't she just be happy? Doesn't she have that right too?]