It's not the elephants exactly? [ Joining Weiss on the couch without further comment. She can do that! Combat stress is No Big Deal™!! ] I mean... it is but it's more - being there. The feeling. Like I'm about to die and everything is moving so fast. Like I'm in permanent disbelief despite knowing for sure that this is the end of my life.
It's...scary. Because... [ Because potentially immortal girls never have to think about dying? Nah, she's hella scared of dying. Death and danger are all she thinks about. Hence the strangeness of this whole thing.]
Don't get me wrong: I liked fighting those monsters. I've... actually sort of felt happy here doing things like that. I knew I might die if I left my tower. I liked it. I still do, but -- [ head shake ] Now every time I try to go to sleep I hear their feet. It's terrifying, Weiss, like the whole thing is happening all over again.
Only this time I can't do anything about it and I'm trapped.
Yeah, it's... something that takes a while to get used to. I'm not even really sure you can get used to it. It just sort of gets to the point where your brain turns off and your body takes over, you know? Like, you've done all you can, and now all you can do is sit back and see if it was good enough.
[When she decided to become a Huntress, she knew she had a very good chance of shortening her lifespan significantly. The way things were going back at Beacon, there was a chance she might not even see graduation. It was just something you learned to tune out after a while.]
Just... do me a favor? Don't ever think you're going to die. The second you do, it's over.
Yeah. [ This line of conversation is a little sickening but it's making her feel loads better. She's less tense now as she looks to Weiss. ] I... saw a few people at the carnival like that. People who - didn't know what to do? Or maybe they did but it wasn't happening in their brains like you said...
How do you guys do it? You've... been doing it since you were so young and -
Don't the adults -- Don't the people in your lives care that you're killing yourselves for their sake?
We do it because we have to. If no person was willing to stand up against the Grimm, then soon enough there wouldn't be any people left. I think its safe to say that many of us would have different career paths if it weren't for that, though.
[Maybe not Ruby. She could never be anything but a weapon nut.]
And as for the people... of course they care. Some of them don't want us to do what we do, others respect our bravery and wish us the best.
Besides, it's not like they're just throwing us students to the lions. We handle smaller threats as a learning experience while the real Huntsmen and Huntresses do the real protecting. But... some day that's going to be us, and we need to be ready for it.
Your family? [ That's - not entirely surprising given what Weiss said about needing to distance herself from her father, but... Rapunzel had thought monsters - Grimm - were the worst oft her world's trouble. ]
What has your family done that... you feel obligated to atone for?
Exploiting people for cheap labor, running smaller companies and shops out of business, cornering the market and selling Dust at inflated prices.
[Most of which is probably going right over Rapunzel's head, she realizes.]
I met a guy a tournament, not long before I came here. He was from the same continent as me, and just hearing my name made him angry. It turned out his family owned a small Dust shop that went out of business because my family undercut them.
Too long, but there's nothing I could do about it. I have no control over what my father does with our family's company.
For a long time, I just accepted it as part of who I was. That people were going to hate me.
Eventually I decided to go to Beacon and become a Huntress. Maybe they'll hate me forever, but at least like this I can make a positive difference in people's lives.
But -- [ And narrow further. ] That's not why you wanted to be a Huntress. Is it, Weiss. You knew what your family was doing long before you made the decision to leave.
[ Projecting?
Only a tiny bit. ]
What made you leave? You personally? You don't just spend all your time living with something horrible and - and act like nothing happened afterwards. What happened to feeling suffocated at home?
Well. There's never going to be a right time of day for it. [ Automatically looking up for a clock and, finding none immediately, going for the CereVice instead. ] I didn't choose now to have nightmares, after all.
[ Cooly, but not cruelly: ] So is mine. I barely even have one. [ Then, relenting some, she adds ] That's... how we got here, remember? Family semblance...
Yeah, I guess you're right. My family was just... very controlling. They care about me, sure, but there were always expectations I had to meet. Training, studying, meeting people. I'm not even sure I ever really got to be a kid.
But that was all... [ choosing her words very carefully here ] to protect people from the Grimm, right? To protect people in general? Or - that's what they told you it was for?
[ This seems to be what triggers Rapunzel turning and leaning in so she can reach out, confusion and hurt on Weiss's behalf just slightly screwing up usually smooth features. ]
[She leans away from Rapunzel out of instinct. It's not anything personal, she's just always had an aversion towards people, especially being intimate with people.]
The point is, that's what a Schnee is, so that's what I was raised to be.
And -- [ The hovering hands drop easily into her lap. What's interesting to her is that this isn't the first time she's seen someone sort of unconsciously drawing away - either in other people or in herself. It's a little embarrassing to see on someone as ordinarily placid as Weiss, like watching a person spill soup on themselves when they think no one's around, and Rapunzel herself instinctively wants to go back in time and stop whomever hurt Weiss from doing it. Just so the contact doesn't have to be so painful. ]
What if you couldn't do it? What if you failed, or... or you decided you didn't want to do it anymore? What would happen if you were to get tired and quit - do something else? [ questioning, but calm ]
...What are the consequences of not being the Schnee you're supposed to be?
[It would be a long fight against a lot of very dangerous people.]
I don't know. I never allowed myself to fail that way.
[There were days where she would be disappointed in herself, but she never let down her family. Whether that is a testament to her dedication or her father's patience is a question for another time.]
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:14 am (UTC)[She settles herself on the couch, making sure there's plenty of room for her friend.]
About the carnival? Those elephants were freaky.
[Freaky until she killed them, but still freaky.]
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:24 am (UTC)It's...scary. Because... [ Because potentially immortal girls never have to think about dying? Nah, she's hella scared of dying. Death and danger are all she thinks about. Hence the strangeness of this whole thing.]
Don't get me wrong: I liked fighting those monsters. I've... actually sort of felt happy here doing things like that. I knew I might die if I left my tower. I liked it. I still do, but -- [ head shake ] Now every time I try to go to sleep I hear their feet. It's terrifying, Weiss, like the whole thing is happening all over again.
Only this time I can't do anything about it and I'm trapped.
[ CHEERY ]
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:34 am (UTC)[When she decided to become a Huntress, she knew she had a very good chance of shortening her lifespan significantly. The way things were going back at Beacon, there was a chance she might not even see graduation. It was just something you learned to tune out after a while.]
Just... do me a favor? Don't ever think you're going to die. The second you do, it's over.
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:55 am (UTC)How do you guys do it? You've... been doing it since you were so young and -
Don't the adults -- Don't the people in your lives care that you're killing yourselves for their sake?
[ shots fired ! ]
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:01 am (UTC)[Maybe not Ruby. She could never be anything but a weapon nut.]
And as for the people... of course they care. Some of them don't want us to do what we do, others respect our bravery and wish us the best.
Besides, it's not like they're just throwing us students to the lions. We handle smaller threats as a learning experience while the real Huntsmen and Huntresses do the real protecting. But... some day that's going to be us, and we need to be ready for it.
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:12 am (UTC)[ Put her way: ]
Is that your dream, Weiss?
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:17 am (UTC)[Maybe not even the most important part, to be honest.]
My family has caused the people of my world a lot of grief. I don't want that to be all people think of when they hear my name.
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:20 am (UTC)What has your family done that... you feel obligated to atone for?
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:26 am (UTC)[Most of which is probably going right over Rapunzel's head, she realizes.]
I met a guy a tournament, not long before I came here. He was from the same continent as me, and just hearing my name made him angry. It turned out his family owned a small Dust shop that went out of business because my family undercut them.
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:32 am (UTC)How long have you known about things like that?
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Date: 2016-02-02 03:46 am (UTC)For a long time, I just accepted it as part of who I was. That people were going to hate me.
Eventually I decided to go to Beacon and become a Huntress. Maybe they'll hate me forever, but at least like this I can make a positive difference in people's lives.
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Date: 2016-02-02 08:19 am (UTC)[ Projecting?
Only a tiny bit. ]
What made you leave? You personally? You don't just spend all your time living with something horrible and - and act like nothing happened afterwards. What happened to feeling suffocated at home?
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Date: 2016-02-02 01:44 pm (UTC)[She leans back against the couch, crossing her arms.]
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Date: 2016-02-02 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 03:18 pm (UTC)You know, most people would take that as a sign they shouldn't ask.
[Sigh, no getting around it, is there?]
My family is... complicated.
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Date: 2016-02-02 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 09:36 pm (UTC)My family prides itself on being strong, smart... overall better than everyone. I needed to know everything and everyone.
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Date: 2016-02-02 10:26 pm (UTC)[ This seems to be what triggers Rapunzel turning and leaning in so she can reach out, confusion and hurt on Weiss's behalf just slightly screwing up usually smooth features. ]
Why?
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Date: 2016-02-02 10:42 pm (UTC)[She leans away from Rapunzel out of instinct. It's not anything personal, she's just always had an aversion towards people, especially being intimate with people.]
The point is, that's what a Schnee is, so that's what I was raised to be.
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Date: 2016-02-02 11:02 pm (UTC)I see.
And -- [ The hovering hands drop easily into her lap. What's interesting to her is that this isn't the first time she's seen someone sort of unconsciously drawing away - either in other people or in herself. It's a little embarrassing to see on someone as ordinarily placid as Weiss, like watching a person spill soup on themselves when they think no one's around, and Rapunzel herself instinctively wants to go back in time and stop whomever hurt Weiss from doing it. Just so the contact doesn't have to be so painful. ]
What if you couldn't do it? What if you failed, or... or you decided you didn't want to do it anymore? What would happen if you were to get tired and quit - do something else? [ questioning, but calm ]
...What are the consequences of not being the Schnee you're supposed to be?
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Date: 2016-02-02 11:32 pm (UTC)I don't know. I never allowed myself to fail that way.
[There were days where she would be disappointed in herself, but she never let down her family. Whether that is a testament to her dedication or her father's patience is a question for another time.]
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Date: 2016-02-03 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 12:32 am (UTC)Until then, it's protecting the people.
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